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Like every douchebag who works in douche(mid)town Manhattan I get the bulk of my dumb news by avoiding eye contact on elevators to look at whatever crap headline or picture is being displayed on the Captivate Network. It’s captivating in the sense that you’re held hostage without food or air in a tiny box with no room to actually move like you’re veal or pre-Prop 2 California chickens.

Anyway this dude saw this headline and BUST THE FUCK UP and we were all like “?????????” and then I saw it and understood. The headline was this:

George W Bush hits out at Robert Mugabe

I like this part:

“In Zimbabwe, a discredited dictator presides over food shortages, staggering inflation and harsh repression,” he said. “We look forward to the hour when this nightmare is over and the people of Zimbabwe regain their freedom.”

Ain’t that the pot calling the kettle a horrible politician scumbag unable to effectively mend severe problems afflicting his nation?

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