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…because I need the fucking money in order to travel back to my anti-gay marriage writing-discrimination-into-the-constitution home state. Oh, but it’s so beautiful there!

It’s an interesting concept and I’m all for the gay community mobilizing in such a widespread way and good for everyone who “calls in gay” today. I’m not actually convinced that this is the right vehicle, though. First, it’s ONE DAY. African-Americans didn’t take the buses for like eighty years in the 60s. Also, linguistically this sort of connotes “gay” with “sick,” no?

“Hello Mr. Bossman I’m calling in gay because I’ve got seven cocks in my mouth and *ACHOOO!!!!!* ugh semen keeps coming (heh) out of my nose and I’ve got a fever at 699 degrees.”

That would be like the best illness ever, really. Unfortunately I’m single and at work.


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