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Category Archives: far-flung analogies with no basis in thought

So Music Thing started with a post regarding Fleetwood Mac’s “Storms” and considering the title of this here blogggggguh I think we should start with THIS AMAZING AWESOME NEWS. Seriously this probably makes my life, though I wish it was 1977 and I was coked out of my head with a Buckingham-fro and open-shirted lily blouse or whatever bullshit that is he wears on the back of Rumours.

George emailed the news to Emily and me because all three of us are freaks who have drunkenly out-of-tunedly sang the harmonies of “Everywhere” while walking down Montrose Ave and also attended a Christine McVie night at a gay bar during my birthday (it was awesome for ~45 mins and then the DJ was REPEATING songs and PLAYING COVERS some of which weren’t even McVie songs!!!!!!!) and also went to Night of a Thousand Stevies (it was awesome for ~2 hours and then there were horrible acts like the lady who DIDN’T KNOW THE MELODY TO “GYPSY”) and also had the world’s smallest Stevie Nicks dance party in my room. We all were enthralled seeing Courtney Love clapping like a faggot in the audience during their reunion thing in 97 (?) called The Dance. We would have been partners-in-crime in high school, word.

Anyway in that email thread I posed this solo Nicks Sophie’s Choice: “Edge of Seventeen” or “Stand Back”? Because when you’re talking about solo Stevie, those are the only two choices, right??!

Yeah, but I chose a third-party candidate: “Talk To Me” which to me is a perfect Ralph Nader. Kind of garish and silly and over-the-top and ludicrous and not-thought-out but still absolutely lovable. This is strictly pre-2000 election Nader, before he became a douche nincompoop (I dunno, something off of Street Angel?).

Which makes “Edge of Seventeen” the GOP in my mind, considering it employs a basic formula of one chord and melody line (uh, guns and evangelical Christianity?) and turns it into a motherfucking behemoth stomping all over your sad little corpus (human rights, the Constitution, AMERICA AND THE WORLD, etc). “Stand Back” is DonkeyTown because it takes disparate elements like croaky burdened vocals (civil rights boomers) and “misquoted” homophobe Prince-inspired synths (people who like to dance to gay disco not realizing it’s gay = EVERYONE except Repubs who don’t dance ever you worthless sodomites; gays) that sometimes you think is fucking awesome (Obama) and other times can be a bit embarrassing in spite of your dedication (Howard Dean, seriously I love you but sometimes holy jesus what the hell).

This instance is the only time I side with the Republicans ooh baby ooh said oooh.