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Category Archives: santa is a dick

Kill me, for I have related to something said by Sarah Vowell. Not that I hate her or anything, but holy God is that voice annoying. Stan and I once had a conversation wherein we came up with people who look exactly like their voice. Sarah Vowell was my best example. Stan’s top two were Wallace Shawn (which I agree with) and Woody Allen (after which he immediately asked, “Is that anti-Semitic?”).

Anyway, I was listening to her appearance on KCRW and was all CHUCKLEZ I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!! when she talked about being offended by “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” That song always terrified me when I was a kid, like Santa Claus was this malevolent womanizer who would steal my mom away from my dad and consequently during kindergarten we were told to leave our shoes outside our class so that Santa would leave candy in it (????? Is this an Irish thing? I went to Catholic school) and I started crying because I HATED Santa. (Also: I cried all the time in kindergarten)

Also she played this song that equates California as The Promised Land, so I guess Sarah Vowell is better than me because I didn’t know it existed:

And just for good measure, an oldie-but-goodie. ABBA AS DRUNKS:

My favorite part is when Agnetha forgets the words and just MAKES SOME NOISE. Like a drunk!